Death, Ghosts and Crossing Over
Posted: Thursday, December 18, 2008
by Melissa Van Rossum
How old were you when you discovered you had a gift?
My earliest memories of knowing what others were feeling and thinking was at age 3; my earliest memories of seeing ghosts was at age 4. Though I have vague memories of both, earlier than that, I didn't see it as a ‘gift' until my late 20's.
How did you first experience this?
Have you ever seen something that frightened you?
Yes, as a child I knew things that people had done and I knew if that information got out that it would be harmful to them and others. I felt terribly guilty for seeing it, as though I had caused it in some way. It's a terrible burden to keep someone else's secret when you're that little. Also ghosts aren't always friendly or kind or gentle. Many are, to put it bluntly, quite insane and unaware. The scene from Sixth Sense where the boy was forced into the armoire where the ghost was hiding nearly made me sick. I was often forced into rooms (by teasing sisters and friends) I was afraid to be in because an unfriendly spirit would be in the room; it terrified me to no end. Several times, I thought I would lose my mind as I sat in the room with the ghosts while someone stood on the other side of the door barring me from escaping. Because of those early experiences I can sometimes still get startled when I find myself in the room with an unfriendly spirit.
Why do you think they contact you?
Ghosts have long known this part of my purpose, even before I did. They knew I had the ability to see them and to get them home. Once I asked one of them why they came to me and how they found me. They said, "we saw your Light." This is why I have the lighthouse on the cover of my second book, Their Way Home. Much later, Raymon Grace, a shaman who wrote the foreword to my book, asked an Indian Chief friend about me and he said that lost souls can see the Light of those who can help them.
What's the most difficult part about being psychic?
Dealing with those who are prejudiced toward those of us who are aware and have the ability to see. Awareness and insight frightens a great number of people - those who are afraid to see themselves - and like any other person w/ prejudice (race, age, size, nationality, gender...), they project that fear and judgment onto others to keep them from seeing themselves. When I encounter these people, it takes a lot of strength, energy, clarity and confidence to disarm them so the two of you can relate rationally and professionally and to a productive end. Many people are so very afraid of seeing anything that might challenge their belief system. And many people are afraid that intuitive ability is somehow anti-religious, which I find so bizarre. It's disappointing since I can't change my intuitive self any more than someone else could change their skin color.
What do you think the dead can teach us?
Truly, that there is no such thing as death. That Life is eternal and our time here is purposeful, meaningful, though temporary.
Too often, people waste too much time feeling afraid and allowing fear to hold them back from their purpose and their dreams. If everyone knew there was no such thing as death, imagine the freedom that people would feel in their lives. I also believe that knowing this would help those who have lost their loved ones to move beyond grief and to have peace that their loved ones are alive and well.
If everyone knew there was no death, it makes you wonder if people would begin to find more non-violent ways of working out their differences.
What does it mean to "get someone home"? And why do some spirits not go home right away?
Getting someone home means crossing them over to the Other Side, otherwise known as Heaven or the next dimension or Home, the place where we begin and end and otherwise, when you get down to it, never really leave. Spirits who resist crossing over are those who are simply so caught up in the fears and beliefs of the earth plane. Many are so grounded in religious dogma/judgment that they fear what comes next, such as the fear of a vengeful god. Others are attached to their addictions and cannot bear to separate themselves from them...drinking, eating, drugs, work, worry, control.... Others are mired in their concern for others, those they feel they are 'leaving behind' and they stay behind to be with them or comfort them, take care of them. Once they get to the Other Side though, they don't have these fears or concerns any more. That's just one of the reasons why it's so important that spirits cross over and not to languish here once they've left their bodies. The Other Side offers healing and insight that they can't receive in any other way.
Some people have a hard time with this idea of crossing over and feel that their loved ones are leaving them, but truly, our loved ones can connect with us more fully and help us more effectively once they've crossed over.
Is there such a thing as an evil spirit? We hear stories of families who have been tormented by spirit energy in their home, is this true?
An evil spirit, well, not inherently so, though people can behave in evil ways and thus, the same is true for spirits. But there is no source of evil that generates evil spirits to harm others, not that I've seen or experienced anyway. What I have seen are tortured souls who, like the living, project their unresolved pain onto others, tormenting them as best they can. We've all seen and sometimes have known those who have been abused in childhood, only to grow up and become abusers. I met a ghost once who was a man who abused his family in life, and after his suicide he took great pleasure in frightening the new owners of what used to be his home. The mother was a willing carrier for his anger. And her behavior changed for the worse when she was at home. But it made her feel 'powerful' so she continued on with it for a while. It was all very dark. I met a ghost just a couple of weeks ago on the island where we have our beach house....she was in a lighthouse, no less. She's the only ghost I've ever sought out. Before then they've always come to me. But someone told me about her and I couldn't just leave her there. She had hung herself in the lighthouse in the 1800s after her husband left her and she stayed there, tormenting guests (they renovated the lighthouse into a 3br 2ba rental residence) until they would leave early. As I approached the lighthouse she screamed at me in a fury to stay away, that this was her house. Of course I didn't listen and I finally got her home. The night before that I was awakened at 2 a.m. by a pirate ghost (I swear, I couldn't make this stuff up) which didn't surprise me since the history of the island goes back to the 1600s and was settled by the British and Spanish and there were wars w/ the American Indians, et al. What did surprise me was that he was very physical with me. But again, these spirits are no different than the living who behave badly, taking their unresolved pain out on other people. The only difference is they don't have a body. So, it's never the 'exorcist', though some ghosts are truly frightening. They all have a history which led them to where they are and they just need to get home for healing. If you reference the Brides section of Their Way Home, you'll read about several ghosts I've met who fit in this category as well as the ghost I sent home as a Birthday Gift -that may be the chapter title- for a friend of mine. He was quite disturbing and haunted her for a while.
What do you think is the most misunderstood part about death?
That it is an end. Which it isn't. We all continue to exist, even without our bodies. I've watched countless people deal with death and they see their loved ones as gone, the one who abandoned them. Even though they may have Christian beliefs, and they believe in life after death, they don't find much comfort in that. I see others who have lost their loved ones and I also see the loved ones, right there in the room with them. I've seen my Dad so many times since his death earlier this year. I see his brand new understanding and insight that has only come as a result of his transition - that he wouldn't have had if he'd still been here with a body. I see growth in his spirit that is such a blessing to him and all of us, so I can't find a way to be sad about his passing. Though I understand the pain of being without the ones you love, we must try to, if only by faith, lean on the understanding that a loved one's transition and the chosen timing of it is a natural and important part of the larger tapestry of Life and learning. And also there is the misunderstanding that they would suffer on the Other Side, perhaps because they suffered in life or as they died or because they're without us. They're never without us. And as long as they've transitioned, they're not suffering.
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Top-level comments on this article: (1 total)Yes, it was helpful to know that once crossing over is complete, that the loved ones can still connect with us. My mother has been deceased for 6 years, but just recently crossed over. My grief is as acute as the day she died since she has crossed. I have felt abandoned, but I am happy she has made the transition and not felt the need to stay any longer.A friend who lost her brother years ago once asked me if our deceased loved ones ever missed us. I answered, "no". And they don't.
Because they're never without us.
It's only us that can live with the illusion that we are somehow without them.
In all the mediumship readings I've done, I've never once encountered a mournful soul who missed their loved ones who were still on the earth plane.
They bring messages of love and validation that prove they've been with us and they know what's going on in our lives. They're happy and peaceful, often enlightened, but since they're not without us, they're never sad or missing us.
The relationship and the love do not end because someone leaves their body. On the contrary, the love from the one who transitioned becomes more profound and more available.
If there are words which were left unsaid, they can be communicated through a letter you would write to them. Or even a conversation you would have with them directly. And both will be received.
Ask for signs of communication and validation and be aware that it's up to us to see and to hear them.
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